Finding My Missing Peace

It used to be that I was uncomfortable with silence - so much so that I would go out of my way to avoid it. The TV or radio were always on. Silence was akin to wearing an itchy wool sweater, I avoided it.

There was no peace in quiet for me.

Finally, I decided to dedicate quiet time to be with God – outside of my normal prayer time.

Do you ever feel like there is a next step you need to take in your relationship with God? This was my next step at the time. At first, sitting in the quiet was uncomfortable. I wanted to start talking right away. I couldn’t clear my thoughts from taking over. I forced myself to refrain. Soon, the quiet time became a gift. Sometimes I talk, but always the quiet first.

My reading of Psalm 40 yesterday inspired me to frame my own thoughts around the time I spend with God and how it helped me find my missing peace:

O God, none can compare with your steadfast love and faithfulness.

And so,

I close my eyes,

I calm my thoughts.

Patiently, I prepare to be with you (v1)

For I have come to understand the gift of this quiet place within myself, Lord,

as the breadth of your presence envelops the furthermost corners of my heart.

With you, I can be my truest self.

“Then I say, ‘Here I am.’” (v7)

I have come to this place both in time of joy and eagerness and in time of anguish and tumult.

You have sat with me on both sides and in the middle. I can feel you stretching from the heavens towards me, inclining your ear to your child.

In times of anguish, I have felt your arms gather me up and “draw me out of the miry bog” (v2) of despair and place me on the solid rock that is your Son. You take my weak, anxious thoughts and “multiply your thoughts” (v5) toward me, a flood of love.

Thank you.

You have given me “a new song” (v3) of praise in my heart.

O God, none can compare with you.