River Feast

 I grew up in a loving church family, surrounded by imperfect people trying their best to love and serve God, in a youth program which nourished and helped me grow and bloom in my faith. These were the years that set a foundation of rich soil under my soul and said, “Here. Grow.” I was well fed spiritually.

Then I went to college.

I decided to add God to my schedule only when it was convenient for me. I checked in with him every now and then, mostly when I felt overwhelmed or needed something. My twenties were lean years in my faith walk, but if you’d asked me at the time, I would’ve told you everything was “Fine - Really! God and I are good.”

Truth be told, there was a hunger within me that lay unfed…and I knew it, but working on my relationship with God was just too inconvenient at the time. It didn’t bother me too much though because, as the saying goes, I had moved away from God but I had enough of a foundation to know he had not moved away from me. So I strung him along behind me for the next 10 years or so, like a childhood security blanket.

In my thirties, I took a step in God’s direction. I went back to church and found myself surrounded by another loving and diverse church family…and I started to grow again. This time it was a mature growth and God blessed me with special individuals who represented for me why we feast together at God’s table. I began, slowly, to understand that there were lots of opportunities for spiritual food, but I had to make a conscious decision to plant myself next to the Source, next to the river of God’s grace. I became friends with beloved people who showed me what growing my faith beyond the church’s doors looked like.

A friend gave me the title of my painting, River Feast (above), before I painted it and a timely reading of Psalm 1 brings my story together:

They are like trees planted by streams of water

which yield their fruit in its season,

and their leaves do not whither.

In all they do, they prosper.

~Psalm 1:3

“PLANTED” – not growing wild, not by random chance. I thought about the blessings that have grown from choices made to plant myself close to the Source. Living waters that nourish and provide when I commit to living on God’s terms. I included a trimmed branch from the tree as I thought it was important to acknowledge that, idyllic as my painting may seem, this world hurts and harms and often seems out of sync with the Infinite. But good or bad, I give it all to Him. The world withers, God replenishes.

It’s often said that a painter shouldn’t explain a painting, and I have already taken liberties. It should be up to the viewer to have their own experience so I will let you interpret the rest for yourself.  For me, it is a reminder that each day I have a decision which way I will go…or grow.